But Why?

I have been asked "why are you doing creating these alter-egos?" on many occasions and in some cases, the words "who do you think you are? You're no different to any of us." follow..or something like them anyway.

Either way, I have my reasons as does anybody else who creates an alter-ego or 3 for themselves. You see, there are numerous implications for doing such a thing; it can be that you don't want to be fully exposed to your audience so you create an alter-ego to hide behind, there is also the idea that it is a defense mechanism...that is one of my main reasons for creating my alter-egos...but you can also make use of alter-egos if you wish to be one step removed from your creations. Now, I don't mean 'be uncaring, cold and unemotional' about what you have created, it is a way of taking what people say about your creations with half a pinch of salt and at times, if appropriate, into consideration. 

I believe that sometimes, when we create a piece of art or music that is close to our heart, we don't necessarily want everyone to comment on it and sometimes, useful advice can be thrown away with the mindset that your work is perfect because you created it. It is important, however, to be able to stand back and see what it is that people are saying and to perhaps consider what good you can extract from such advice and how you can use it to your advantage...one of my better moments was when I reflected on the idea that I was silencing myself too much in my music. For me, it was the one place I didn't have trouble expressing myself but I took circumstance too much into consideration and so I would end up changing lyrics to better suit my main audience. Nonetheless, it has come to my attention that I can create what I want so long as I disseminate my work in the right places. 

I'm thinking too hard again and none of this has made much sens -__- more later.

To Begin...and a bit more

Welcome,

Here you will find a series of posts based on different thoughts concerned with music, life and identity and difference. I will also examine the psychological implications of having an alter-ego and what it means (psychologically) to "split" oneself into different characters. I will attempt to log my progress as I embark on a journey to create a solo album and I will probably be blunt, wondering and somewhat general in parts of my posts. It is important that this be read at some point as it will also tell you not only how I work as a person but also why. My main focus for the moment is something that has been playing on my mind for quite some time now and that is the idea of having an alter-ego or two....or indeed three.

As a singer, songwriter and general composer, I started creating a few alter-egos for myself. Over the last few months, however, it has become apparent that said characters need to be revised and in the process, I dismissed one of them. At the time, my only alter-ego, Kitty D., was faltering and I could feel little distinction between her and my general self..the self that other people know of me. "Why must you split yourself into different characters?" you might ask; well there are different reasons...many different reasons. My first is that it is a coping mechanism...it helps me cope with the nerves I feel before I show others my work, it helps me to cope with an upcoming performance, with public speaking. Over the last 4 years, I have become a very quiet character and don't appear to have many thoughts or opinions on various subjects, nonetheless, there is  an entire globe of thoughts, opinions, questions, fascinations and interests bubbling inside me. Similar to the ways in which humanity and the world works, there is death of ideals, interests and thoughts and there are internal wars occurring between my beliefs and what I know. The idea of creating an alter-ego or 3 appealed to me in that it opened up an opportunity for me to not only figure out exactly who I am but also to demonstrate the right side of myself to the right people. I am fully aware that it is important to present oneself properly to the outside world and that image is judged within the first few seconds of first meeting someone. 

Kitty D. was supposed to portray a darker side of me, the part of me that can snap at people, that can be upset for much longer than I let on...but Kitty D. was created hastily and only lasted a short while as she began to melt back into the original me. I then decided it was time to put her in a coffin and lay her to rest, so to speak. After much thought and handing in many assignments where my music appeared to contain more than one aspect of my personality, I realised that it was time to create someone else...someone who had stronger characteristics than Kitty D. and so Panthera Tigris was born. I created Panthera Tigris, basing her on various similarities that I saw between myself and tigers; characteristics such as loyalty, being territorial, ferocity, strength and adventure are characteristics that I see in tigers but also recognise in myself. I am in the process of ensuring that Panthera can be seen in the music through lyrics, attitude within the music and in some cases, the style the music has been created. Where Kitty D. is related more to acoustic music, softer sounding lyrics and a more subdued attitude, Panthera Tigris dwells in the world of electronically created sounds, direct opinions and sometimes carries an angry attitude towards various people, subjects and events.
I will later get into the nitty gritty details of how I work but for the moment, I feel I am done introducing. Any questions, ask and I will attempt to answer them.

Panthera Tigris =^[.]^=