To Begin...and a bit more

Welcome,

Here you will find a series of posts based on different thoughts concerned with music, life and identity and difference. I will also examine the psychological implications of having an alter-ego and what it means (psychologically) to "split" oneself into different characters. I will attempt to log my progress as I embark on a journey to create a solo album and I will probably be blunt, wondering and somewhat general in parts of my posts. It is important that this be read at some point as it will also tell you not only how I work as a person but also why. My main focus for the moment is something that has been playing on my mind for quite some time now and that is the idea of having an alter-ego or two....or indeed three.

As a singer, songwriter and general composer, I started creating a few alter-egos for myself. Over the last few months, however, it has become apparent that said characters need to be revised and in the process, I dismissed one of them. At the time, my only alter-ego, Kitty D., was faltering and I could feel little distinction between her and my general self..the self that other people know of me. "Why must you split yourself into different characters?" you might ask; well there are different reasons...many different reasons. My first is that it is a coping mechanism...it helps me cope with the nerves I feel before I show others my work, it helps me to cope with an upcoming performance, with public speaking. Over the last 4 years, I have become a very quiet character and don't appear to have many thoughts or opinions on various subjects, nonetheless, there is  an entire globe of thoughts, opinions, questions, fascinations and interests bubbling inside me. Similar to the ways in which humanity and the world works, there is death of ideals, interests and thoughts and there are internal wars occurring between my beliefs and what I know. The idea of creating an alter-ego or 3 appealed to me in that it opened up an opportunity for me to not only figure out exactly who I am but also to demonstrate the right side of myself to the right people. I am fully aware that it is important to present oneself properly to the outside world and that image is judged within the first few seconds of first meeting someone. 

Kitty D. was supposed to portray a darker side of me, the part of me that can snap at people, that can be upset for much longer than I let on...but Kitty D. was created hastily and only lasted a short while as she began to melt back into the original me. I then decided it was time to put her in a coffin and lay her to rest, so to speak. After much thought and handing in many assignments where my music appeared to contain more than one aspect of my personality, I realised that it was time to create someone else...someone who had stronger characteristics than Kitty D. and so Panthera Tigris was born. I created Panthera Tigris, basing her on various similarities that I saw between myself and tigers; characteristics such as loyalty, being territorial, ferocity, strength and adventure are characteristics that I see in tigers but also recognise in myself. I am in the process of ensuring that Panthera can be seen in the music through lyrics, attitude within the music and in some cases, the style the music has been created. Where Kitty D. is related more to acoustic music, softer sounding lyrics and a more subdued attitude, Panthera Tigris dwells in the world of electronically created sounds, direct opinions and sometimes carries an angry attitude towards various people, subjects and events.
I will later get into the nitty gritty details of how I work but for the moment, I feel I am done introducing. Any questions, ask and I will attempt to answer them.

Panthera Tigris =^[.]^=